You May Be Hearing Me, But Are You Listening?
By Cat Hazeltine, Program & Outreach Intern
During a mental health crisis, appropriately addressing and responding to an individual’s circumstance can help de-escalate the situation. Empathetic listening is a great way to help others in high stress situations. Empathetic listening is stepping into the other person's shoes and trying to understand the situation they are going through from that person’s point of view. Focusing on what the individual is saying helps the listener truly engage with the person’s situation instead of just hearing what they say. Here are some helpful tips on how to practice empathetic listening.
Be open minded.
While listening to other individuals' personal stories, it is easy to jump to conclusions or be judgmental. Staying open minded and not forming your own opinions on what the person is saying is important to effectively practice empathetic listening. Remember, you are trying to view the situation from the other person’s viewpoint.
Be attentive.
Using nonverbal communication cues as a listener can help show that you are actively listening to what the other person is saying. Nodding your head to show you understand and making eye contact are two helpful cues that can help show the speaker that you are actively listening to what they are saying.
Be engaged.
Asking questions to a person who is going through a crisis seems helpful as a listener trying to understand the situation, but this can also lead the speaker to stop exploring their own feelings and focus on the questions being asked instead. Re-stating information given to you and paraphrasing what the person has already said are two ways that may help you get more details about the situation.
Be respectful.
While listening to others speak, it is easy to try to give advice or use your own experiences as examples. Empathetic listening is focusing on the speaker's situation from their viewpoint so bringing in your own experiences can cause the individual to feel overridden. Try to reflect back to the speaker about what you have gathered from what they are saying without expressing your own opinion or giving advice.
Be patient.
A person experiencing a mental crisis may need time before they are ready to communicate with others about how they are feeling. As a listener, understand that silence is not always a bad thing. The speaker may need a few minutes to gather their thoughts or decide if they are ready to share their feelings with you or not.
Stepping into another person's shoes to understand how they are truly feeling is easier said than done. These tips might come in handy next time you are trying to assist a loved one or friend in need!